American Idol Season Six Finalists
Finally, after three mostly boring weeks of the American Idol Season 6 semifinals, we’re down to the final 12. But even though there are 12 finalists, only three have any real talent to deserve the American Idol tag. But then again, Taylor Hicks won last year, didn’t he?
Here’s your American Idol Season Six finalists, ladies first. After all, only half of the ladies can really sing, while the male half will all probably be gone in the first six weeks of the finals.
The Women:
1. Melinda Doolittle - This one’s gonna take the competition, unless voters realize the fact that she doesn’t have a neck.
2. Lakisha Jones - Melinda’s closest competitor, but lacks something in her voice, I just couldn’t pinpoint what.
3. Stephanie Edwards - Good pipes, but doesn’t hold a candle to the first two.
4. Jordin Sparks - a big, pretty young girl with a pretty big voice. Not enough to win the competition though.
5. Gina Glocksen - Will try to be this year’s Chris Daughtry or Bo Bice, but not nearly as talented vocally as Idol’s pioneering rockers.
6. Haley Scarnato - Yawn.
The Pipsqueaks, er, Boys:
1. Blake Lewis - The beatboxer, and will probably be the last among the guys to get kicked out.
2. Chris Richardson - Bleh. Gets compared to JT, but in fact looks like that old friend of Sidney Bristow in Alias whose name I just couldn’t remember.
3. Phil Stacey - Double bleh. He probably heard Mark Bautista’s version of that vomit-inducing song by Leann Rimes, and fell flat on his screaming face. One of the better singers though.
4. Chris Sligh - Oddly enough, I like his singing voice, but is a much better comedian than a singer. He’s the last among the guys I want eliminated.
5. Brandon Rogers - For someone who keeps on bragging about how he sang backup for Christina Aguilera and Anastacia, he sure sucks. Not in the same league as this season’s other backup singer, Melinda Doolittle.
6. Sanjaya Malakar - San-GAY-a. This season’s Clay Gayken, but a much lousier version. Enough said.
Next week, the competition’s gonna get really gay as the finalists will be forced to sing the songs of Diana Ross. But it’s not like Sangaya will have an edge over anyone else though. He’s still gonna bore the hell out of everyone, and will be the first one to get the boot.
